I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
