I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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