They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
