super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
