Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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