it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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