Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
