so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
