Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
