I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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