Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm at about main and main street
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
