i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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