Your mouth is God's brothel.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
