My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Randomize
