Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
