Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
