Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
