You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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