So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
