I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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