One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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