i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he thought i was a dude.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
