he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
