Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
