I like to think it a success when the cops are called
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
