just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
