in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
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