these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
