I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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