we're chasing vodka with high fives
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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