you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
