I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
