Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just found a bag of teeth...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
