you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
