I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
