We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
