hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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