Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
