i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
