he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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