It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
