i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
