One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
