Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i was born a porn star she said
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
