its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm too high and old for this...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
