Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
