what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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