I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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