I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
two words...techno handjob
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
MIDGETS
????
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
