Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
